Not all Superheros wear capes.
Some wear tool belts.
Being a tradie wife is like being married to a superhero. Your spouse may not have the ability to fly or shoot laser beams from their eyes, but they have something just as impressive – the ability to fix things around the house. And let's be honest, that is way more useful than flying or shooting lasers. It is not for the feint hearted though- there are some things you need to know before saying Yes to the dress!
The first thing you'll notice when you're married to a tradie is the smell. Oh, the smell. It's a unique scent that's hard to describe, a mixture of sweat, sawdust, and power tools. It's like a musky cologne that you never knew you needed in your life. The trade off though? There's always some kind of paint or grease or dirt on their clothes. And don't even get me started on the stains. You might as well give up on the idea of keeping them clean. It's a lost cause. Wash all his clothes in the same wash and invest in some eucalyptus oil for the smells and stains! Failing that- hose him down outside before he comes in for dinner.
There are some other downsides we should talk about. Like the fact that they're always working. It seems like they're either at work, or they're thinking about some project around the house. Except they don’t ACTUALLY fix things around the house. At least not quickly. You get the privilege of seeing all the blood sweat and tears expended at old mate’s house around the corner whilst you’re sitting at home with a dripping tap and a milk crate holding up the back step.
And then there's the noise. If your partner is a builder or a carpenter, you'll have to get used to the sound of power tools and heavy machinery. It's like living next to a construction site 24/7. But over time, you'll learn to tune it out. In fact, you might even find it soothing in its own way. It's like white noise, but with a little bit of danger thrown in. You also can not tune out the alarm clock at 5.30am. Or 5.35, or 5.50 or 6am. Be warned of the snooze button.
You should also be warned of the mess these tradies create. Oh, the mess. Whether it's sawdust or paint splatters, your partner is bound to make a mess on the daily. Expect batteries charging on the kitchen bench next to the unplugged Thermomix, boots in the doorway for you to trip over and drill bits in the washing machine. Occasionally you might be lucky enough to find a fifty stuck to the side of the drum and THAT is your bonus for dealing with his stinky socks!
You can also forget about ever going on a RELAXING holiday. If you actually make it to the destination on time- he will spend the whole time admiring the ornate features of the plaster instead of your spray tan and watching the way the automatic doors work instead of the waves rolling in on the beach. He will probably also go into withdrawal and need a cup of dirty instant coffee and his lunch served in a paper bag.
Of course, being married to a tradie isn't all stinky socks and mess around the house.
The best part of being married to a tradie is seeing them in action. There's something so satisfying about watching them work their magic. They're like a magician, but instead of pulling rabbits out of hats, they're pulling perfectly square cuts and perfectly measured angles out of thin air. And the best part is, they make it look so easy. It's like they were born with a hammer in their hand and a spirit level in their back pocket. Do not even get me started on how they look in their nail bags and short shorts in summer. Swoon.
There is also practical benefits to living with a dude that is handy with his tools. No more squeaky doors, wobbly tables or blown light globes. However, any tasks larger than those require a six month wait and few favours to get the job completed if you know what I mean……
Despite the downsides, being married to a tradie is a unique and often hilarious experience. From the smells to the sights, it's a world that few outsiders get to see. And the best part is, you get to be a part of it. You get to see firsthand the impact that your partner's work has on people's lives when they get to move into their dream home. Whether it's building a new home or renovating an existing one, you'll be able to see the joy and satisfaction on people's faces when they see the finished product. It's an incredible feeling to know that your partner's skills and dedication have made a positive difference in the lives of others, creating spaces that bring comfort and happiness.
Even for Lois Lane.